Article in Adoptive Families

Saw this article and thought it was accurate and helpful. (Wish I would've seen it when Isaac first came home to us.)

Adopting a 15- to 22-month-old: Toddlerhood is a particularly difficult stage for a child to be moved. He's had time to build attachment to a caregiver, and now his greatest fear -- losing that person -- has come true. His cognitive and language abilities are not developed enough to understand any explanations of adoption.

Children adopted at this age may cling to the new parent for fear of losing that person also. "Gena wanted to be in physical contact with me all the time," says her mom, Susan Tombrello. "She would plaster herself to the shower door and whimper for me, or she would try to climb up on me just about anywhere I would sit. Cooking was very difficult when she outgrew her baby sling. I somehow learned to do everything with one hand."

• Prepare your child. Visit your child in the presence of the caregiver before placement. Together, talk to the child about the move before it occurs. It may help to act out the forthcoming adoption in play. If a pre-adoption visit isn't possible, send your child an album of family photos or a recording of your voice, so you'll be familiar by your first meeting.
• Help your child identify feelings. Your child's verbal abilities aren't developed enough to express his feelings about the change in his life. Help him label emotions, such as fear, anger, and sadness.
• Record the circumstances. Write down as many details as possible about placement day. Take photos. As your child's verbal skills develop, she will need to rework her emotions about that day. Details will help her understand what happened, why, and what it means.
• Get good advice. Children adopted as toddlers frequently struggle to balance dependence and autonomy. Professional advice can be helpful.

Being Needed

Zac is sick. Had 104.3 fever during the night. The tylenol helped wonders and it went away.
I took him to the med unit this morning and he has a throat infection that has slipped over to a middle ear infection as well.
Yesterday he was very lethargic and the fever started around 5pm.

The weird thing is, his personality has been completely different these 24 hours and it totally changes the way I view him.

For the past couple of weeks, Zac has been naughty, naughty, naughty.
We are definitely working through behavioral issues like him slapping my 4 year old and then laughing about it (while the 4 year old cries). Or emptying out a drawer and laughing about it. Or pulling all the workbox numbers off all the kids' workboxes and then laughing about it. It outRAGES me.
Needless to say, I haven't been too happy with him lately. And I feel the disconnect with my other kids. The 4 year old is acting out now a bit and disobeying. Same with the others.

But since Zac has been sick, he isn't running around like a little Terror. He is sweet and cuddly. And funny! And fun to be with. I realized today: He Needs Me. Zac needs me. In all his naughtiness and mischievousness  I sort of feel like he doesn't need my love sometimes (which I KNOW isn't true). But today I realized he DOES need me. That's the whole reason we adopted him! He has never had a mommy to rock him while he has a fever. He has never had a daddy to read to him and splash him when he is in the bathtub.

It's kind of cool, this "being needed". So while I hate that Zac has this throat infection, I am glad for the amazing things we have learned about each other in the process. Romans 8:28

Blessed,

The Mischievousness

This looks like a sweet little smile, doesn't it? 

This is the "I-just-took-your-phone-and-I-know-exactly-what-I'm-doing" smirk. He does this all day long, pulling things off the shelf, pulling the neighbor's cat's tail, hitting Nick, etc. etc. I just happened to have the camera in my hand taking pictures of our school day when he snuck over, grabbed the phone, and ran off...