I have been trying to re-lactate for several weeks now. And it was easy pre-getting-Zac and while Kevin was on paternity leave to sneak upstairs for 10 minutes every 3 hours and pump.
But I just can't keep up with it anymore. I have been pumping for several weeks, and am getting little beads of milk each time now.
Even though I never planned to actually put Zac to the breast, I wanted to put my breast milk in his sippie cup to increase the amount of nutrition he was getting everyday, especially since he is 18 months old and wearing size 9 months old clothes!
But I can't keep up with it. So I am not going to feel guilty about it or bad about it.
I still grieve the fact I missed his first 18 months, and missed breastfeeding my 5th son altogether.
