Coming Out of the Fog

I went to bed at 8pm last night and woke up at 6am this morning. Those were Zac's hours too.
He also woke up at 9:30, 10:00, 1:30, and 4:30. Thankfully he went back to sleep all those times except at 4:30 when I fed him formula in a sippie cup. Mommy desperately needs her sleep.

I just can't figure out why he is waking up so much during the night.
The thing is, I always heard/read that orphanage kids are so UNDERstimulated at the orphanage, that they are like zombies when they get to their forever home. They sleep a lot and need lots of stimulation.
This was not the case with Zac. So I just wasn't prepared for this. He is so reminiscent of an infant to me. He is a LOT of work. It's obvious that he should be, I guess. I just wasn't prepared for it.

I have been so tired (and some of us have been terribly sick lately) that I have sort of just been able to focus on the Work part of the baby and haven't been as able to focus on the other parts.
He really is a joy. His smile is radiant. He has the cutest sounding voice. He laughs and laughs when we tickle him.
There are so many differences between his skin and mine.
For instance, after his bath I have to lather him down pretty good with Vaseline/Cocoa butter or the next day dry skin appears. If he doesn't drink water during the day, then his lips will chap severely the next day. He poops constantly. I have literally gone through 108 diapers in the two weeks we have had him. (Is that normal?!). But I don't know if he has diaper rash because his little skin is so dark that I can't notice it. His nails grow SUPER fast. So does his hair.

Oops he is awake from nap. I hear him in the monitor. Better run. He slept 12:30-3:00 today (only woke up at 1:00pm for a warm cup of milk. WooHoo!).

Love This Man.

Kevin has been amazing with Zac since Day One. I love that after 10 years of marriage I am still learning more about him. The depth of his personality continues to baffle me!

Other Pictures

This was the first full day we had him. Happy Baby!

He kept running away from me when I tried to get a photo of him!

Coloring with Sabrina.

He enjoyed throwing the crayons around the room. But then he picked every one up and put back into the blue crayon box without being told...Strange indeed!

Eating lunch. He is always happy when he is eating! (IF he eats, sometimes he does not want to eat what we give him.)

Welcome Home Signs

When we arrived home with Zac last Friday, Rachel orchestrated decorating the front door. What a surprise! She has done this with each kid we bring home from the hospital so of course she decorated this time, too. 

Nick drew this. He said it is a picture of him and his little brother.

Pictures of Zac Trying New Things

We didn't show Zac everything right away. We took our time with him and let him explore on his own as he got more comfortable around the house. At first, he only wanted to be in my arms. Then each day he became braver and would walk to other rooms and explore. Then eventually he discovered the back yard and all its glory!! I'll try to post pictures each day of the things he discovered this week. 

Riding in my police car.

Love those eyebrows. He has so many expressions.

Hmmmm, he spotted a water puddle.

There's that famous mischievous grin! And yes, he walked right through it and splashed and had a blast!

Frustrated. Having Sleep and Food Issues.

We are having issues with food and sleep the last couple of days. And it makes me so mad that I can't figure out the problem!! I'm just being real, folks. I cannot understand this little dude. And I know it will take a long while, but it is so frustrating during the process.

Our food issues. For example, someone brought us over a beef stew a few nights ago and Zac ate 6 kid-size servings of the stuff. So I froze the leftovers in little ziplocs to pull out for lunches since he loved it so much. But when I gave it to him again, he threw it on the floor. I took away his plate and put it on the table and he screamed and cried like somebody broke his heart. I know he is hungry. I know he likes this food. He is crying and pointing to Sabrina's plate. I tried giving him a bite of her food. He got even madder/sadder. He wanted her fork. He wanted her cup.
He seems to only want what other people have. About 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time he shoves food in his mouth like he is starving. There seems to be no pattern.

So the problem is, when he doesn't EAT then he doesn't sleep well. He wakes up every 3 hours like an infant and wants to have a sippie cup of formula. It took a really long time to get him to sleep last night. He twists and fidgets his little hands back and forth, he shakes his left leg back and forth. I figure since he was in the orphanage he didn't have a mommy to rock him to sleep, so these are the ways he soothed himself to fall asleep for 17 months. He doesn't understand that he has a mommy to rock him now. He doesn't understand that I won't leave when he falls asleep, that I will be here when he wakes up. I get that. Last night I desperately posted on the Trust-Based Parenting facebook group (join it if you are adopting - - so helpful!!). Other mommies with similar situations said their kiddos had sensory issues or were really feeling the trauma of switching caregivers (from orphanage to mommy) or were self-soothing also. I really have to finish the book The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis because she discusses these types of issues.

I know it takes patience. Holy Spirit please pour your Patience and Love into our house every morning!
I need to pray these problems away. I have not started his prayer journal yet. I have a separate notebook for each of my kids, and I write out any behavioral or health problems so I can pray them out and declare blessings over them. Then I write out when the prayers are answered. I just realized we have been so busy adjusting that I have not even started his prayer journal. Will do that today!

The Lightbulb Went Off...

So last night when I was up feeding Zac, the lightbulb went off in my head.
The reason he is waking up during the night is because he is hungry!!

It has taken some hit-and-misses, but I have learned that when he snacks too much around 5pm or so  (even like a little bowl of Cheerios) then he will NOT eat dinner. And at first I was giving him a sippie cup of baby formula to drink with his meal, but unbeknownst to me, he was drinking it first and then filling up his tummy. I just thought he needed a drink with his meal. But then he would be hungry again two hours later because he barely at at dinnertime/lunchtime.

So...I cut down the size of the snacking and I cut out baby formula altogether except for when I'm rocking him to sleep at naptime and bedtime. He would much rather have the cup of baby formula, and he cries for it, but I cannot let him just eat just that.

I also found my Super Baby Food book on the shelf. I love it - it lists out the types of foods Baby is supposed to eat every day. Vital! So we will see how the next few days go!

Trying to Get On Schedule...

We are trying to get on schedule. Little by little we are getting there.
Zac takes an afternoon nap pretty well now (IF I don't let him fall asleep during the morning and IF my other kids don't make loud noises and wake him up!). After lunch, I feed him some warm milk in a sippie cup, rock him to sleep, and lay him in his crib. He has been sleeping for about an hour and a half.    
So that gives me an hour and a half to do all my computer work and other things I need to do.
I can do NO computer work while he is awake. I don't know that he has ever even seen a computer before, but he tries to pull the top off my laptop and bangs on the keys. So...I try to do all my banking, blogging, online shopping, etc during nap or after he is in bed at night (but by then I am too exhausted to do business stuff.)
We did school probably at 75% today. I have learned to do our family time in the morning (character trait, devotion time, and psalms reading), I need an activity for him to do. He doesn't seem to have any sort of attention span, so an activity doesn't last very long. Today I sat him in a tub of colored noodles with cups and bowls so he could transfer the noodles back and forth. He loves transferring things right now. So that kept him busy for a little while.
Bedtime is still a challenge. Last night we bathed and drank warm milk at 8pm. He fell asleep while I rocked him and then I laid him in his crib. But at 3am he woke up ready to play. I can't understand why he wakes up in the middle of the night. I have decided to take formula  upstairs to feed to him if he wakes up again. Maybe his little body needs more food at that time. But he was chatting away and laughing. I was not. I was very, very tired. Actually, I caught his little tummy bug so yesterday I was not doing very good :( Thankfully Kevin woke up and tried rocking him back to sleep. I think he finally gave up about 4:30am or so. His crying woke up Sabrina (she's a light sleeper though).
He woke up at 7:30am - - thankful he slept a little longer than the day before.
Anyway, we are still trying to figure out what he needs. He is sweet.

He loves to sing and dance. There is one song in particular that he tries to do the hand movements to, and he chatter-sings along to a song. We have no idea what it is (head/shoulders/knees/toes?) but he claps and gets really happy when he sings it!

We are taking him swimming for the first time today. I showed him the pool yesterday and he was very excited. He loves water. He loves splashing his feet.
He also poops a lot. I guess he is getting used to our American food, but wow.

Sabrina tickles him so much that now whenever she even walks into the room, he rolls over with laughter. He has the cutest sounding voice! He loves to brush his teeth. I bought him a Batman toothbrush.
I also needed some more onesies and some more daytime clothes, so I pulled out my 9mo old clothes box. He fits the 9mo old clothes perfectly. He is almost 18 months old. He is a tiny peanut!!
Oh and now he cries for food. He saw an old sippie cup on the counter yesterday (from his lunch earlier) and he screamed and cried for something to drink. And today he cried for his rice and beef because I apparently wasn't warming it up fast enough. Great progress!


Oh and now he is awake :) Less than an hour nap today...hmmmmm...oh well. We'll get it eventually!!

Letter of the Week curriculum. 

Trying out my swing for the first time.

Everybody wants to take turns pushing me!

Colored noodles sensory bin.

It's easier if I just get in the bin too.

Warming Up...

Zac's second full day with us (Sunday) was completely different than the day before.
We woke up and went to church. He slept in my sling for an hour or so. All the girls sat in church with us. They didn't want to miss a single thing Baby Zac did, so they sat quietly in church next to him.

It was really good seeing my friends and church family. I love showing him off to folks, especially folks who have helped us walk through the adoption.

The main difference is that Zac is much more comfortable with his surroundings today. He gets down from my arms and walks a few feet away from me. When he becomes uncomfortable (like if the girls are crowding him too much), he runs back to me. It is sweet.

A few other things I've noticed:
-Nicholas seems much, much larger than the day before. I always viewed Nick as my little tiny boy. I even say to him: "When are you going to grow up? Never!!". But as soon as Zac came, Nicholas seems so much heavier and so much older.
-Zac began warming up to Sabrina almost overnight. She picks him up and helps him walk around (he's very sturdy with walking now, but she "helps" him still. So adorable.) and she is always bending down and in his face. She keeps saying, "He's soooo cute! I didn't know he would be so cute".  Usually he cries when she is around but Sunday morning he started laughing whenver she walks up to him. Then sometimes she does a funny voice (which gets me rolling too) and he just laughs and laughs.
-Zac does not cry when he gets hungry. It took me a while to figure that out. He just kind of zones out, like he isn't really here in the room. But whenever I pull out the Cheerios and apple juice, he lights up! I just have to be very aware of the time of day and give him 3 meals a day with snacks in between.
-The "middles" (Emma and Sabrina) are behaving very exceptionally the last few days. Thankfully.

Monday:
Zac was awake from 1am-4am and then we had to wake up at 5am to be at the orphanage by 6:45am. We needed to see the doctor one last time for Zac's discharge. Once we received the orphanage's discharge, our official 90-day foster period begins. We signed all the papers on Friday, but the doctor only saw 2 patients on Friday afternoon and wouldn't see us. Anyway, this was our last time to go there. I was afraid Zac would see his old caretakers and try to reach out to them, but he did not. Half a dozen women excitedly kissed him and hugged him. He did not reach out to them. In fact he barely laughed at them and even turned away from them. I have such a jealous heart (one of my many flaws) so I am happy he did not prefer them over me. (Which would have been only natural of course if it happened).
We took him to breakfast at Java House (video of him dancing to follow when my internet is better).
Came home and did school with the kids. Not a full day by any means. But a "getting back in the swing of things" school day. Perfect weather. Daddy is home on paternity leave. Perfect.
The neighbor's sweet furry cat jumped over the fence into our yard. Zac was standing in the middle of the yard when the cat approached him. He freaked out and started crying and running to Daddy (who was standing right behind him). I guess he has never seen a cat before...Eventually he began to like the cat, but it was cute seeing his reaction to something so foreign to him but so familiar to us.
Also, he threw a bunch of crayons out of the basket, and I started singing the "clean up" song, and he put back every single crayon back in the basket. Strange! They must have sung that song at the orphanage too!

So Zac has changed a lot over the past few days. I love to see him experience new things every day. Like, cheese. We had cheese on our chili for dinner. He loves cheese!!

First Full Day

I should be cleaning while the baby is napping, but if I don't sit down and write now, then I never will! And I never want to forget these "firsts" with Zac.

On Saturday he woke up around 5:45am. So we started our day! I realized that at the orphanage the kids were not allowed in the kitchen, so I put his high chair in the middle of the kitchen and I explained everything I did. We made pancakes. He was fascinated by all the stirring and mixing. He chatted and chatted with me while I flipped pancakes and fried bacon. He did not seem to like the taste of the pancakes until I added honey...and then he had a blast licking off the honey and throwing the rest of the bite on the floor. Eventually Kevin and the kids came downstairs and they played blocks in the middle of the kitchen floor while I cleaned up our pancake mess!

Kevin is amazing. I already knew that, but now I am seeing another side of him. He is so sweet and cuddly and proactive with the baby. He helps me with dishes and laundry without even being asked. The kids have been pretty well behaved as well. They are smitten with Zac, especially Sabrina. She wants to cuddle and hold him constantly. Zac doesn't always appreciate that...but he will warm up to her eventually.

Zac and I went to the playground for a few minutes around 11am. My friend walked over, and Zac held out his arms to go to her. I had just chatted with the doctor about this. Doc said Zac has no attachments to anyone because he has seen so many different people his whole life and not one constant person. Doc said Zac would do that, and that I need to hold tight to him and not let him go to someone else. I kind of feel sad if I don't let him do something he wants to do, but Doc explained it is like wearing a set belt. Kids don't want to do that either, but they have to learn for their safety. So when Zac reached out to my friend (although he is very clingy to me inside my own house), I really understood what Doc was referring to. So that was a big learning experience. Zac cried because he wanted down, but I held him. And then he asleep in my arms. Oops. Not even nap time yet.

Lunch was scarce - he did not eat a lot. Around 2pm I rocked him to sleep for his afternoon nap. He slept until around 3:30pm.

Today was the Halloween trick-or-treating on the embassy compound, so around 4pm Kevin and the kids got dressed in their costumes. They went to a party down the street and then spent an hour trick-or-treating. I stayed at home with Zac and didn't even pass out candy. I thought it would be too disruptive for him. My dear friend brought dinner, and Zac ate and ate. He ate 6 servings of beef stew. I couldn't believe it. And boy is he in a good mood when he has a snack or food on his tummy!

Zac hasn't seen much of the house or even the backyard hardly yet. Too much to take in, so we are letting him venture out on his own little by little.

I rocked him to sleep around 8pm and laid him in his crib. I had these big plans of co-sleeping with him...and we still might do that. But we have sort of a small bed and he flops around a lot. I keep waking up every time he moves, which makes for a tired mommy the next day!

Can't wait to see what tomorrow holds!