Possible Citizenship Issues

There seems to be an issue lately with the two new Nairobi judges and their views/ignorance of the immigration laws of other countries.

Two of my friends lately have gotten to their court date, and the judge refused to go any further until they can prove the child will be  guaranteed citizenship in the parents' home country.
This is only happening to Canadian and US adopting families. Why? Because unlike the Europeans adopting families (who get their kids' European passports before leaving Kenya), our kids will not legally receive US citizenship until their feet touch US soil. Hence, we cannot obtain a US passport for our child here in Kenya. We have to obtain a Kenyan passport and go to the US embassy for a US visa stamp inside his Kenyan passport. Then when we can file for his US passport once we physically get back to the States.

The problem I have witnessed recently is that when my Canadian friends arrived at their third (and supposedly final) hearing, judge did NOT grant them a final judgment. He said he wanted proof that the kids would receive citizenship, and put the burden on this family to provide 250+ notarized pages of Canadian law and letters and documents. Will every family have to provide this information? If so, why did the judge wait until the final hearing to inform them of such? Why weren't they informed of this so they could have gotten the documents together beforehand? Keep in mind these folks have dropped their jobs, their homes, their entire lives to move to Kenya for a year to adopt these children. Now at the very last minute possible the new judge decides to add in more requirements.

This infuriates me on many, many levels. We Hague-party adopting-families have already been through months and months of notarizing and documentation at the beginning of the process.

For me, I was sort of thinking: "Okay, this is the first Canadian family that has adopted in years. Maybe the judge just needed a refresher course to ensure these Kenyan kids aren't stuck without citizenship to any country."

Fast forward one week.

I just found out that another friend of mine is having a similar issue. She is a US resident and adopting via the Kenyan resident path (because she has lived here over 3 years and can bypass the international route like we had to go through since we aren't here permanently). I know several folks in this same situation: Americans living here and adopting locally. There are a few different rules and hence a few different consequences. One of which being that you cannot go straight to the US to live for at least 2 years after the adoption is final. But the paperwork is much easier and the process is way less expensive. So it's definitely preferred for some folks.

So one of my friends went into court recently and should've been appointed her GAL at that first hearing. However, the judge said he wanted additional proof regarding the child's future-US citizenship. I don't know all the legal requirements, but a child in this situation (after going through the appropriate steps) would indeed be allowed US citizenship eventually. The US embassy here has a form letter they give to adopting families that explains this to the judge. Well, this form letter (that has always been used in the past) is now not good enough for the judge. The judge wants an additional letter from the US embassy basically reiterating what is in the form letter.  This has never been an issue in the past with the prior judges. I personally know of several kids that have adopted recently via this local-resident path and there were no issues.

I have said all along and I fully believe adoption is a spiritual battle (Unless of course kids are being put into same-sex marriage family. I'd love for a study to be done at some point to see the ease of their processes.)

Our next court date is over a month away. If I need to be gathering additional documentation regarding  the laws and rules of US Citizenship then I need TO DO IT NOW. I NEED TO KNOW NOW.

I've emailed my attorney a few times, and I'll put in an email to our stateside agency. We are literally flying out of here in July. I do not have time to gather and notarize additional documents from the States. I am so stressed out about this (literally, my blood pressure is up now just typing this) that I cannot seem to focus on anything else.

I'm not sure what my point is in typing all this out. I guess if you have read this far, then I ask you to please pray that these two Nairobi judges would get educated on these issues and do their jobs correctly. So that families stuck here don't have to pay the price in the end.

Proceeding...Trusting...

We have decided to proceed with the adoption. You know what, God called us to this. He can work out all the little details when necessary. If I have to stay here a few extra weeks/months, then we will cross that bridge when we get to it.  And we will trust Him.

How Other Family Members Can Support an Adoptive Family

While I am in an "off" mood, I might as well write about things I normally wouldn't write about when I am "normal".

How are people supposed to respond to us, an adopting family? There are books about it. One great book is entitled, "In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption. A Guide for Relatives and Friends."

One of my friends yesterday asked me what I need for the baby. She said she wanted to help me out in some way when the baby comes. I told her that on Saturday we bought everything off our baby registry (yes, this is a new baby, so I registered for the things we needed, mainly so I could get amazon's 10% discount!!). She said she would like to make a meal for us, maybe when Kevin goes back to work from paternity leave. I almost cried. Why? I guess because I feel like I am away from family and close friends in the states and it makes things feel different.

So far I have not asked anybody for help**. I have not done any fundraising. I have not asked friends or family to donate a single penny to help us adopt. Because in a way that would mean they have to "support" me, right? When you ask someone for money, you are asking them to make a decision about whether or not they agree with your adoption. I have never asked my family if they agree with our decision to adopt. I did not ask anyone's permission about whether I should birth four children, so I definitely did not plan to ask anyone's opinion about whether I should adopt a child. First of all, God called us to adopt. So I do not need anybody else's opinion about it. I do not need anyone else's advice.

But the truth of the matter is, our adoption does impact our friends and family. We are changing the dynamic of our family. We are becoming a multi-racial family. My parents will have a dark-skinned grandchild. I will have dark-skinned grandchildren (yeh!). These are big, big issues for some folks. So not only is adoption the issue in itself, but the fact we are adopting cross-racially and cross-culturally is a secondary issue as well.  I do not expect everybody to support me. This is the reason I have never asked anyone's opinion or help. This is also why I was pretty much in tears when my friend offered to make a meal for us. Because she made it seem "normal". And isn't that what all adoptive families want to feel like, normal again?

So if you are a family member of an adoptive family, what are some ways you can support them? Here's what the book says:

1. Help with logistics if possible - Offer to write a letter of recommendation, make copies, mail paperwork, drop off materials at the attorney's office, help take care of other children so they can finish paperwork.
2. Host a Baby Shower! - Ask the mom is she prefers before or after the child arrives.
3. Show Your Interest - Ask if you can attend any adoption classes, learn about the child's country of origin, Take the expectant parents out for Ethiopian food or buy them a travel book on China, Collect positive news from that part of the world and discuss with other friends or relatives.
4. Information-Sharing - Some expectant parents like to be asked if there is news while others feel every question is just a reminder that they are still waiting. Personally, if someone does not ask me about my adoption, then I assume they do not care.
5. Financial Support - Adoption is expensive!
6. Help for Traveling Families - Help them pack or shop. Offer to take them or pick them up from the airport. Offer to keep the household running while they are gone (feeding pets, mowing grass, etc.)
7. Help With Siblings - Offer to babysit while parents do adoption-related tasks. Pay extra attention to waiting siblings.
8. Normalize Their Experience - Treat them like the excited, expectant parents they are!

**I needed a family recommendation letter for LAN and my lovely sister-in-law wrote a beautiful page-long letter about her opinion of me as a mother. For some reason it wasn't used in my dossier but LAN asked me to obtain it for their records. I am very grateful to her for writing the letter!**

Terminology

So exactly how complicated is this process? (Yes, I'm whining again.)
Here is an email I sent our Stateside agency. We are having a few issues with the standard authentication since I am already here in Kenya and some of my documents have Kenya notaries instead of US notaries.
The paperwork is so tedious and technical!  Here's the email.


Dear ---,
Okay I'm understanding the authentication process a little better...
My courier emailed me and asked if I was sending a notarized Affidavit of True and Accurate Document to include with our homestudy so the US can authenticate it.
Our agency here suggested having CAS notarize their original Homestudy Approval Letter, and attach that with the homestudy to present to the NAC with my dossier.
But technically, I should be able to take my homestudy to Ministry of Foreign Affairs here in Nairobi and have it authenticated.  You guys' homestudy approval letter...is that supposed to be included in my dossier as well? Is that a requirement of the NAC? Have you guys ever notarized/authenticated those approval letters in the past? If not, then why would I need to have CAS notarize/authenticate them now? I realize since the approval letter originates in the States then the NAC might require it to be notarized, but if you guys have never notarized them before then why should we have to start all over again with that now?
About the i800a, am I right, below, in suggesting that I always keep the original with me? However, since the i800a approval letter is not notarized, then even though the document originates in the States, the States will not be able to do anything with my Affidavit because my affidavit will be notarized by a Kenyan notary, so the US can't do anything with it even if I sent it to the State Dept to be authenticated.
Wow these are such TEDIOUS questions!!  But valid ones as the NAC will kick out my dossier if I do something wrong!  And I just don't have the time left in my timeline to have it kicked out by the NAC. Because if they don't approve us then we'd have to call off the adoption because there would be no way we'd have time left in our timeline to redo paperwork at that point.
Okay I think I am hyperventilating at the thought of that.
Sincerely, Jessica

Adoption and Discipline

Boy it has been awhile since I last posted.
And I have a lot of things to write about, especially since we have arrived here in Nairobi.
Until then, I ran across the blog from the folks that run the Heart of the Matter seminars.
Julie posted an interesting article entitled:

Adoption and School: Why the classroom discipline plan often fails for our kids.

And although I homeschool my kiddos, this is still good information for our homeschool when Baby gets older.