Got Zac's US Visa!

Kevin walked downstairs and picked up Isaac's visa at work today.
Woo Hoo. Now I can concentrate on being Zac's mom instead of worrying about paperwork and deadlines.
We officially finished this process two days before we fly out to our next post.
I knew it would come close, but I had no idea HOW CLOSE.
See, we aren't like most families. We couldn't stay here indefinitely due to my husband's job. We knew that, of course, which is why we have been pushing things at every step of the way.

I've said it many times before, but I think when we leave here and aren't under all this adoption-stress, that life will be much different. And then we'll look back and think, "Gosh, look what God did. This is crazy!"

I'm trying to put together another video of Zac of all his sweet little pictures. Things are crazy right now since we fly out in two days. But hopefully I can get to it soon.

I would like to keep my blog up, for future adopting families to see the timeline. I probably won't write too much more, though. Will take a while to decompress I think...

It's been quite a journey. I got a Word from the Lord a while back that we would adopt an Asian girl, and I told him, "This Kenya Hague adoption exhausted me and depleted me completely. If you want us to adopt again, you are going to have to drop her in our lap..."  So we'll see...

Still Waiting on our Adoption Certificate from the Registrar's Office.

So Thursday will be 4 weeks since our final hearing. No certificate yet.
My lawyer says it is waiting to be signed and then will be sent to be sealed.
At that point in time they can release it to my lawyer.
We are cutting it down to the DAYS, folks (see my timeline to the right side-bar).
Stressed out. Stressed out. Stressed out. Stressed out.
Can't even relax and enjoy our last month on this continent.

Don't Hate on Me...Only Reporting the Facts...

Just as an FYI, I've always saved my rants and vents for my personal private blog instead of this blog. And believe me, there have been many rant posts because this process is extremely long and hard.

So if anything on this blog is offensive to anybody, it's not my fault :) It's par for the course. I am writing the facts of what has happened to us and happened during our process.

I write for two reasons: 1) To show how God has worked through this process, and 2) As a how-to for folks who are going through the process as well and have no idea what the steps are to this cumbersome adoption.

And for those two reasons I am keeping this blog PUBLIC as well.

Happy Reading :)

Possible Citizenship Issues

There seems to be an issue lately with the two new Nairobi judges and their views/ignorance of the immigration laws of other countries.

Two of my friends lately have gotten to their court date, and the judge refused to go any further until they can prove the child will be  guaranteed citizenship in the parents' home country.
This is only happening to Canadian and US adopting families. Why? Because unlike the Europeans adopting families (who get their kids' European passports before leaving Kenya), our kids will not legally receive US citizenship until their feet touch US soil. Hence, we cannot obtain a US passport for our child here in Kenya. We have to obtain a Kenyan passport and go to the US embassy for a US visa stamp inside his Kenyan passport. Then when we can file for his US passport once we physically get back to the States.

The problem I have witnessed recently is that when my Canadian friends arrived at their third (and supposedly final) hearing, judge did NOT grant them a final judgment. He said he wanted proof that the kids would receive citizenship, and put the burden on this family to provide 250+ notarized pages of Canadian law and letters and documents. Will every family have to provide this information? If so, why did the judge wait until the final hearing to inform them of such? Why weren't they informed of this so they could have gotten the documents together beforehand? Keep in mind these folks have dropped their jobs, their homes, their entire lives to move to Kenya for a year to adopt these children. Now at the very last minute possible the new judge decides to add in more requirements.

This infuriates me on many, many levels. We Hague-party adopting-families have already been through months and months of notarizing and documentation at the beginning of the process.

For me, I was sort of thinking: "Okay, this is the first Canadian family that has adopted in years. Maybe the judge just needed a refresher course to ensure these Kenyan kids aren't stuck without citizenship to any country."

Fast forward one week.

I just found out that another friend of mine is having a similar issue. She is a US resident and adopting via the Kenyan resident path (because she has lived here over 3 years and can bypass the international route like we had to go through since we aren't here permanently). I know several folks in this same situation: Americans living here and adopting locally. There are a few different rules and hence a few different consequences. One of which being that you cannot go straight to the US to live for at least 2 years after the adoption is final. But the paperwork is much easier and the process is way less expensive. So it's definitely preferred for some folks.

So one of my friends went into court recently and should've been appointed her GAL at that first hearing. However, the judge said he wanted additional proof regarding the child's future-US citizenship. I don't know all the legal requirements, but a child in this situation (after going through the appropriate steps) would indeed be allowed US citizenship eventually. The US embassy here has a form letter they give to adopting families that explains this to the judge. Well, this form letter (that has always been used in the past) is now not good enough for the judge. The judge wants an additional letter from the US embassy basically reiterating what is in the form letter.  This has never been an issue in the past with the prior judges. I personally know of several kids that have adopted recently via this local-resident path and there were no issues.

I have said all along and I fully believe adoption is a spiritual battle (Unless of course kids are being put into same-sex marriage family. I'd love for a study to be done at some point to see the ease of their processes.)

Our next court date is over a month away. If I need to be gathering additional documentation regarding  the laws and rules of US Citizenship then I need TO DO IT NOW. I NEED TO KNOW NOW.

I've emailed my attorney a few times, and I'll put in an email to our stateside agency. We are literally flying out of here in July. I do not have time to gather and notarize additional documents from the States. I am so stressed out about this (literally, my blood pressure is up now just typing this) that I cannot seem to focus on anything else.

I'm not sure what my point is in typing all this out. I guess if you have read this far, then I ask you to please pray that these two Nairobi judges would get educated on these issues and do their jobs correctly. So that families stuck here don't have to pay the price in the end.

Another Round of Visits This Week

Wednesday we had our 2nd GAL appointment here at the house. This lady is amazing.
We found ourselves just chatting in general as well. I even let her borrow my Super Baby Food book as her youngest is 9 months old and she is looking for some feeding ideas.
She is how I always imagined what Kenyans would be like: warm, friendly, enjoyable to talk with. And although of course our school day gets off schedule because we have to spend the day cleaning before her arrival (!), her visits are always very pleasant.

Thursday the Little Angels' social worker came for her third and final visit. These appointments tend to be a little more awkward, as she sort of just watches us interact with one another. Normally that's fine, but I feel like I have to defend myself by fielding questions such as, "What does Isaac do during your school time each day?", etc.

Our lawyer took our paperwork to court on Wednesday and filed all our documents. HOWEVER we cannot get a court date yet until this social worker files her report.  She said she took it down that same day, but my lawyer never found it. I texted and called and emailed on Friday but no one seemed to know. If we filed on Wednesday then we should've gotten a Feb 15 courtdate, but now it looks like Feb 22. I am irate about this of course. With each mistake people make, it pushes our exit date further and further. So we'll see...

PAD. Post Adoption Depression. Yuck.

I just hate writing those words. Depression. Yuck. Yuck.

I have never had any experience with depression. Ever. Not even after I birthed four children. Looking back in my life, I have probably known many people who suffer with this disease, but I didn't know it at the time because I wasn't familiar with it or its symptoms.

The only reason I am writing about it now is because God told me to. And He was pretty clear about it. So here I am. I am not a doctor or a psychologist. Unfortunately I don't have any good advice and this post is not even very encouraging. I am just going to tell my story. Sadly it is a story still being written. So let me get started with it.

The first month of adjusting with Zac dealt with sleep and feeding issues. We finally figured out he is lactose intolerant/sensitive, so that huge discovery led to his actually sleeping at night (as opposed to writhing in gas pain for hours during the night).  December started out quite nicely because I was caught up on my sleep and wasn't a zombie anymore.

Then something happened in one of my relationships (I'd rather not write too in depth since this is a public blog) and I got upset about something. From then I could feel myself spiraling down day-by-day. I felt like I was being shoved into a hole in the ground and I couldn't get out. I noticed I was sad all the time. The sadness got worse with each passing day.

I wrote on my ipod on Dec 7: I am lonely. And bored. I need to go to sleep but I can't stop crying.
And on Dec 8: I am just sad all day. Tired. I have no energy whatsoever. I cannot even conjure up enough energy to smile. I don't want to do anything except curl up in my bed (which is what I am doing right now at 7pm).
Dec 12: Just want to cry. That's all.
Dec 14: I miss my kids. I am so tired, head really hurts, I long for my bed all day long. Just had a good cry. I have forced myself to get through the day every day for the past 3 days. This is so hard. I just want to be better. Not sure how.

Then one day when I was in the kitchen I heard this word whisper in my ear: Depression.
Oh.
I googled it. Here's what I discovered about its symptoms:

• Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
• Fatigue and decreased energy
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
• Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
• Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
• Irritability, restlessness
• Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
• Overeating or appetite loss
• Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
• Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
• Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

Check, check, check, I was experiencing every single one of these symptoms except the suicide symptoms. Quite the contrary, I wanted to feel normal again for the sake of my 5 kids. My children were the only reason I got out of bed every day. They kept me going.
December was hard. Very hard. Christmas made it even harder because I felt like I had to do all these things and I didn't want to. I didn't even decorate the Christmas tree. The kids did. And I sat on the couch looking out the window. That's saying A LOT because I never even let the kids HOLD my special ornaments, let alone decorate the tree with them! That should have been a clue to everybody that I wasn't feeling okay. Christmas came and went. Boring. I really tried to be normal. Thankfully we were having a school break, so that justified my letting the kids watch TV while I sat on the couch. Ugh. Thinking back on the way I felt just makes me cringe. I emailed a friend of a friend who dealt with these same type of issues, and it was really nice knowing someone else has dealt with this. I think that began the clearing of the fog somehow.

Near the end of December I wrote on my ipod: Woke up happy in the morning. I realized I smiled this morning without effort. It was a nice feeling. Felt normal all day. Laughed and could think straight and had fun. Loved the sounds of the thunderstorm and rain. Made me utterly happy. Today I didn't want to crawl in bed and sleep all day. I didn't have to force myself to get through the day. This is a first in four weeks. This is huge.
Dec 31: Didn't feel sad at all today!!!!!!
Jan 5: So happy to be back to normal!!

For weeks I had been feeling like someone was holding my head underneath the water, and for the first time they let my head out so I could breath.

I spent the first couple weeks of January catching up on my life. Homeschooling prep. Emails. Errands. Housework. Relationships. Etc. It felt SO GOOD to be normal.

And then this past week my husband had to work a bunch of overtime, baby was not sleeping well again, and now I feel like I am drowning in the water again.

The break from the sadness in the first couple of weeks in Jan gave me a chance to realize a few things:

1. Learn Your Triggers: This is huge. I have been watching myself, and there are a couple of things I've noticed that automatically throw me into sadness. My husband was outside on Saturday teaching the kids how to ride bikes when he got called into the office to work for a few hours. TRIGGER. I was on Facebook and saw pictures of my friends all getting together and they didn't invite me. TRIGGER. Baby is up during the night and I wake up exhausted. TRIGGER.
2. Stay Away From Things That Make You Sad: I don't have a solution for my husband's work schedule, but I can stay off Facebook. I do like to keep up-to-date with specific friends and family, so I will type in their names and only go to their pages. I don't scan the newsfeed anymore. I can't control how the baby sleeps, but I can allow myself to sleep later (if the kids are still asleep) instead of forcing myself to keep up with my schedule. I can turn on a movie for my older kids during the baby's naptime and I can close my eyes and try to take a nap. Certain movies and certain songs make me cry immediately. I can't sit down to a sad movie. I can't listen to certain Taylor Swift songs. 
3. Give Yourself A Break: I hired a neighbor's nanny to come over three or four nights a week from 7pm-8pm to clean the dinner dishes. I hired a nanny to come on Friday's to clean the house in the morning and babysit in the afternoon so I can take one kid on a kid-date each week. I won't be able to afford this when we move back to the States, but I can use paper plates and paper cups to reduce the amount of dishes I have to wash. I can lower my expectations of cleanliness so I don't feel so stressed out about the kids' mess. I can be more proactive with the kids' chore charts, so everyone is helping out and I don't feel so overwhelmed.
4. Do Things That Make You Feel Happy: I have also been watching myself to see what makes me feel happy. Watching 80's movies. Listening to 80's music. Watching Castle with Rachel. 
5. Get Outside: Being outdoors also makes me happy. One day, Kevin and I went to the basketball court and ran around shooting hoops. I laughed. I didn't feel sad during that time. It was good.
6. Be With Friends: It is almost physically painful to drag myself from this house and go outside and talk to friends. But talking to someone else makes everything feel so much better. Just talking about life and the weather and kids. We need to be in a small group at our church, but that just never worked out. That is a huge part of my problem: feeling stuck on this embassy compound and being too afraid to go anywhere and do anything. So talking with someone else and forcing myself to be with friends is really helpful. It might be a lot of work to get out of the door, but once I'm there it always feels better.

What would I like to do? I'd like to curl up on the couch/bed in a blanket and stare at the ceiling all day. I don't want to do anything but sleep. I don't want to drag myself up and feed the kids breakfast. I don't want to do school with them. I don't have the energy to deal with anything. But I have to. This can't last forever. I could write a huge huge post about the spiritual battle that this is, but that's for another day. For now we are trying to just through each day.

Spoke with our Attorney Today!!

What a great birthday present to me today:

I spoke with our attorney for the first time (which ironically we were appointed the same attorney that I wanted!!) . Our first meeting is this Wednesday. She says she will have everything together in time to file on the 91st day...the first day after our foster period is over.
I spoke with Little Angels. They have appointed us a Guardian Ad Litem and she will meet with us this week as well. Our second social worker visit is this Thursday.

HOOORAAAAY for things moving forward. Ah this is turning into a GREAT YEAR SO FAR!!!

Losing My Joy...And Finding It Again

I have sort of lost my joy in the past several days. That is a terrible thing to type, isn't it? Especially for a Christian.

How could I write such a thing? I just get so frustrated at Zac when he, for example, completely freaks out when I put on his dinner bib. Then he is so mad he refuses to eat. What did I do?! I am trying to keep his shirt clean so I don't have to wash 7 loads of clothes per day. He wore a bib in the orphanage for every meal. It's not a new thing to him. But it makes me angry. Angry that he is so mad. Angry that he has now wasted the food that I took time to prepare for him. Angry that we cannot just be normal in normal things like sleeping and eating!!

So I took him out of the high chair and just had to leave the room before I completely lost it.

There are so many emotions. And the lack of sleep really brings out the worst in me: anger. Saturday night Zac was awake from 12-3am. Around 3am I just sat rocking him and I cried and cried. Actually, I bawled and bawled so much the front of my shirt was wet. After he FINally fell asleep and I put him back in his crib, I cried and cried on my pillow until I fell asleep too. I was mad at myself for being mad at him. Mad at myself that I thought we would instantly be this happy family together. Mad that I can't fix his problems. Mad that everything else in my life has taken a backseat.

Yesterday God whispered in my ear: The joy of the Lord is my strength. So I just sang that song in my head all day. And that's part of the problem: I've been too exhausted to pick up my bible or my prayer journal. I miss talking to God and spending time with Him. And his behavior and issues make me ask: "Why did we do this? Is this really what the rest of my life looks like at every meal, every bedtime?!"

I read this on Kris Vallotton's Ministry page yesterday and chuckled:

Have you ever thrown a pity party and have no one show up? Feeling sorry for yourself is a recipe for disaster! So is blaming others for your lack of success. It may very well be true that you have been mistreated, abused, beaten etc, but God is able to restore, heal and deliver you. Let your identity be in your Christ not in your crisis. I certainly understand pain and depression. I know what it is like to not want to go on with life. But sitting around counting your crosses will only perpetuate the problem and leave you stuck in a pile of poo.

So I decided to fix my attitude today. I decided to open my Bible, even if the house is falling down. (This is something I do every single day, up until the day Baby came. I view my Bible-time and Prayer/Intercession-time as very, very important in my life.)

That's what I usually do when I have a problem: open my Bible and read. Read until I find an answer to my problem. Read until I hear a Word from the Lord. Read until I find my Joy back again. Because being joyful is a choice. Even if you have to fake it. Fake it until the emotions follow. So today I did my Bible time. I played the kids' Bible songs with breakfast. We did our usual Family Time at the dining room table before we started school. If I am miserable then everybody around me will be miserable as well. The Joy will come. This is a season. It does not last forever.

So I am reading in Joshua today. And he spends pages and pages describing the land God gave each tribe. Pages and pages of the blessings God gave each tribe.

⁴⁴ And the Lord gave them rest on every side, just as he had solemnly promised their ancestors. None of their enemies could stand against them, for the Lord helped them conquer all their enemies. ⁴⁵ Not a single one of all the good promises the Lord had given to the family of Israel was left unfulfilled; everything he had spoken came true. (Joshua 21).

I love that God speaks to me, especially when I need it so badly. God will give me rest. God will conquer my enemies one by one. God will fulfill all the good promises he made to me. Everything God speaks will come true. So I cling to that. I cling to Christ, my Joy.

Do not forget in the dark what God promised in the light.

**To make matters worse, most of my family is completely unsupportive (mine, not Kevin's). One aunt and two cousins are the only ones that have even acknowledged Zac's existence. It literally breaks my heart. Well at first it did. Now I am just mad about it, too. I just don't understand.

Meeting Zac in 15 Hours!

We have everything ready for tomorrow. The camera battery has been charged. Tripod is loaded up. I have packed a bag of clothes and diapers for Zac.  The lady at the orientation today suggested that we bring a little gift for Zac. I found a fuzzy little puppy and a soft fuzzy blanket to give to him tomorrow.  Something of his very own. The lady today said the kids love gifts because they have never had anything of their own before. Of course I cried when she said that. 

Today we found out more about his birth story, which was unexpected. Apparently there was writing on a back page of one of his medical reports but it was not photocopied when his file was sent to us. So it is very nice to have a little more background information about him.

I am so nervous. I am scared he won't like me. I mean,with my birth babies, they love me automatically. They love the sound of my voice, the touch of my skin, my milk! But I am a complete stranger to this little guy.

Our lady today said he has been looking at our photo album and carrying the little album around. To which I replied, "He can walk?". I can just picture him clutching our little album to his chest and looking at all the pictures. Goodness he is only 17 months old, but certainly he can see the pictures even though he doesn't know what a Mommy or Daddy or Sisters and Brothers are. We have a shirt for him to wear tomorrow that says "Little Brother" on the front. It was Nick's shirt when he was little. I just adore the fact that Zac will now get to wear it.

I know we have waited so long for this moment. Dreamed so long about this very moment. But I can't believe it's here already! I can't believe we will meet our son tomorrow!

I told the lady today that I will try not to run up and grab him (because we have read that at first, we should take it really slow and just sit next to him at first and wait until he warms up a bit to us before we try to hold or hug him) but she was appalled at that. She said, "You can run to him! Bombard him! He has been waiting for you! Be excited to see him! Treat him like the son you have been waiting to see!"  And then of course I cried again. I very much look forward to seeing my kids' reactions to Zac. They are so excited about meeting him. Ahhhhhh! Baby, we are almost there!!

Orientation Tomorrow Morning!

We just got the call from our adoption agency. We have our orientation tomorrow morning and then we meet our little guy for the first time Thursday morning. I am beside myself!! I am trying to keep myself under control right now!!!

Documents Sent to the Orphanage!

We found out our adoption agency sent all our materials (application, care package, etc.) to the orphanage yesterday!!  Getting closer...maybe end of next week??

My "bwuther"

My three-year-old is blowing bubbles on our patio and said that he is saving his bubbles for his "bwuther". I was doing pretty good today. Now I am sad again!

Proceeding...Trusting...

We have decided to proceed with the adoption. You know what, God called us to this. He can work out all the little details when necessary. If I have to stay here a few extra weeks/months, then we will cross that bridge when we get to it.  And we will trust Him.

To Proceed or Drop the Adoption?

I dreamed about Zac last night. It is amazing how a dream can be so vivid. I woke up feeling such love for him.

I told Kevin I am not at peace this morning. I have no information about what is happening in my near future and I need to know things. So I texted the adoption agency and asked for an honest answer as to whether they thought we could still pursue this adoption in the time we have left here.

She was honest. I am thankful.

I told her we report to our next post in June. She talked through the timeline with me and if all goes well, the court processes will be finished by June but not the passport/US visa portion. We will have another 6 weeks to be here after our allotted departure time. Well that brings on dozens of questions (our diplomatic visa runs out, can we stay in our house or have to do a hotel for those 6 weeks, will State still pay for us to PCS back to Washington even though we are past our orders, we will have to stay here without Kevin, etc.).

So we have a decision to make. Do we proceed or do we drop it now?  Is this God's Will for us to proceed? Is this just a roadblock?

Today I have been fasting and praying. I feel like the Lord said if we proceed there will indeed be more sacrificing. Sacrificing of the obvious time and money, but of other things I'd rather not write on a public blog.

I scoured the scriptures looking for an answer. Listening to hear from God today. I read the story of Abraham and Isaac again. Abraham was told to sacrifice his precious son, Isaac. My Bible commentary says, "If you are afraid to trust God with the possession, dream, or person you treasure most, pay attention to Abraham's example. Because Abraham was willing to give up everything for God, he received back more than he could have imagined.'"

Psalm 95:7-9 "Oh, that you would listen to his voice today! The Lord says, 'Don't harden your hearts as Israel did at Meribah, as they did at Massah in the wilderness. For there your ancestors tried my patience, they courted my wrath though they had seen my many miracles."

This may mean nothing to anybody else but as I was reading my Psalms for the day, this screamed out at me from the Holy Spirit.

I have been reading through the Old Testament for the past few months, and have related our adoption wait period as to the wilderness like the Israelites went through.

We are not in the wilderness anymore.  I will not harden my heart against this adoption agency or this government or this country. There is room for no bitterness in this process. We have seen God do many miracles in our process so far. There are many more to come.

Genesis 21 reminds me that the Lord does exactly as He promises. Sarah said, "God has brought me laughter. All who hear about this will laugh with me." The enemy is defeated. God has already won this battle. And we all laugh in the enemy's face.

I have so many questions, so many unknowns now. We have a huge decision to make. I know if we go forward then I have to expect to be here for a while longer. We have to contact the embassy and ask whether we can extend our visas, whether they can let us stay in our house, whether we can delay our pack-out of our household effects, what about the kids' school??. This is definitely not ideal, but not impossible either. I am going to let Papa God work out the details if He tells us to proceed with the adoption. I am at peace.

In talking with the agency we learned it will be another week or longer before we start the bonding period. I am at peace.

How Other Family Members Can Support an Adoptive Family

While I am in an "off" mood, I might as well write about things I normally wouldn't write about when I am "normal".

How are people supposed to respond to us, an adopting family? There are books about it. One great book is entitled, "In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption. A Guide for Relatives and Friends."

One of my friends yesterday asked me what I need for the baby. She said she wanted to help me out in some way when the baby comes. I told her that on Saturday we bought everything off our baby registry (yes, this is a new baby, so I registered for the things we needed, mainly so I could get amazon's 10% discount!!). She said she would like to make a meal for us, maybe when Kevin goes back to work from paternity leave. I almost cried. Why? I guess because I feel like I am away from family and close friends in the states and it makes things feel different.

So far I have not asked anybody for help**. I have not done any fundraising. I have not asked friends or family to donate a single penny to help us adopt. Because in a way that would mean they have to "support" me, right? When you ask someone for money, you are asking them to make a decision about whether or not they agree with your adoption. I have never asked my family if they agree with our decision to adopt. I did not ask anyone's permission about whether I should birth four children, so I definitely did not plan to ask anyone's opinion about whether I should adopt a child. First of all, God called us to adopt. So I do not need anybody else's opinion about it. I do not need anyone else's advice.

But the truth of the matter is, our adoption does impact our friends and family. We are changing the dynamic of our family. We are becoming a multi-racial family. My parents will have a dark-skinned grandchild. I will have dark-skinned grandchildren (yeh!). These are big, big issues for some folks. So not only is adoption the issue in itself, but the fact we are adopting cross-racially and cross-culturally is a secondary issue as well.  I do not expect everybody to support me. This is the reason I have never asked anyone's opinion or help. This is also why I was pretty much in tears when my friend offered to make a meal for us. Because she made it seem "normal". And isn't that what all adoptive families want to feel like, normal again?

So if you are a family member of an adoptive family, what are some ways you can support them? Here's what the book says:

1. Help with logistics if possible - Offer to write a letter of recommendation, make copies, mail paperwork, drop off materials at the attorney's office, help take care of other children so they can finish paperwork.
2. Host a Baby Shower! - Ask the mom is she prefers before or after the child arrives.
3. Show Your Interest - Ask if you can attend any adoption classes, learn about the child's country of origin, Take the expectant parents out for Ethiopian food or buy them a travel book on China, Collect positive news from that part of the world and discuss with other friends or relatives.
4. Information-Sharing - Some expectant parents like to be asked if there is news while others feel every question is just a reminder that they are still waiting. Personally, if someone does not ask me about my adoption, then I assume they do not care.
5. Financial Support - Adoption is expensive!
6. Help for Traveling Families - Help them pack or shop. Offer to take them or pick them up from the airport. Offer to keep the household running while they are gone (feeding pets, mowing grass, etc.)
7. Help With Siblings - Offer to babysit while parents do adoption-related tasks. Pay extra attention to waiting siblings.
8. Normalize Their Experience - Treat them like the excited, expectant parents they are!

**I needed a family recommendation letter for LAN and my lovely sister-in-law wrote a beautiful page-long letter about her opinion of me as a mother. For some reason it wasn't used in my dossier but LAN asked me to obtain it for their records. I am very grateful to her for writing the letter!**

No News (obviously)

I called the orphanage yesterday (October 17) to ask what size diaper Zac is wearing, what he eats, and whether he takes a bottle or sippie cup so I can go ahead and purchase those things since obviously he will be coming home in a couple of days! The adoption coordinator at the orphanage said, "A couple of days?! I don't even have an application for you."  (whatever that is!) Apparently she has never heard of me before. She has nothing. I was under the impression the orphanage has had our case file for a long time now, that all she was waiting for was our photo album that was supposed to have already been sent to them by LAN. Nope. She assured me she would call me immediately when they received our application (there's that word again!) from LAN, but as of now they have zero information about our family or who Zac is matched with.  I have to say I am shocked and mortified about that. Trying to stay peaceful, trying to stay calm, trying not to think about it 24/7.

Ughghghg I hear the enemy whispering in my ear again, "This will never happen. This is not going to happen." Get thee behind me Satan in the name of Jesus. I am trying to stay positive...

There's a whole lot more I want to say about this. A lot. But I don't want to write too much on this public blog. So I am going to do some homeschool/teacher paperwork so I don't have to think about it anymore. What else is there to do but completely forget about the fact that we could have a baby tomorrow, or three weeks from now, or NEVER?!

USCIS has our corrected documents.

I received an email from our stateside agency on September 19. My coordinator received all the correct  documents from LAN and was writing a cover letter to USCIS to accompany the corrected documents. I then received a confirmation email from fedex that all our materials arrived at USCIS on September 21. WooHoo!!

There was a very quick turn-around the last time we sent in corrected documents to USCIS.
I pray the same happens this time. It is getting close to the holidays. I hope Zac can spend them with us.

Praying and Hopeful,

i800 RFE'd

We found out Tuesday that USCIS issued an RFE in our case on August 22.
Request for Additional Evidence.
In some of the baby's paperwork his date of birth is listed as the 5th of the month, while other paperwork lists it as the 4th of the month. So clearly his date of birth has to be consistent on all his paperwork.
This is a big, big deal for our timeline!
This means our Kenyan agency must request that the hospital issue him a new, corrected birth certificate.
I have no idea how long that process will take. It will take even longer if a hard copy has to be sent back and forth everywhere instead of being emailed.

So prayer warriors, pray specifically that 1) the hospital quickly reissue Zac's birth certificate, 2) that USCIS will accept emailed versions of the certificate as opposed to a hard copy, 3) that USCIS will hear our case again quickly, and 4) that all the paperwork is complete and accurate so our case can be accepted!

God knows our timeline. He knows when we are scheduled to leave this country. God is bigger than all our paperwork struggles! Depending on you, Lord.

Roaming To and Fro Again

The enemy is roaming to and fro again, out to destroy my relationships.
I realize this is part of the spiritual battle again.
"Difficulties" seem to switch month to month from relationships between friends, to husband, to family, to physical problems (my broken toe!), back and forth in cycles. I can easily recognize it now.
I realize that's what it is. And I just laugh at the lies of the enemy.

So I am withdrawing a bit for right now, dropping out of a few social things, online groups, and out-of-the-house activities, making my blog/facebook a little more private.
I think I just need to focus on my family (and few close friends) during this time.
Until the target on our back gets a little smaller...

USCIS Notification

I received an email from USCIS that they offcially received our i800 application.
Countdown to see how long this portion will take. Exciting!