Article in Adoptive Families

Saw this article and thought it was accurate and helpful. (Wish I would've seen it when Isaac first came home to us.)

Adopting a 15- to 22-month-old: Toddlerhood is a particularly difficult stage for a child to be moved. He's had time to build attachment to a caregiver, and now his greatest fear -- losing that person -- has come true. His cognitive and language abilities are not developed enough to understand any explanations of adoption.

Children adopted at this age may cling to the new parent for fear of losing that person also. "Gena wanted to be in physical contact with me all the time," says her mom, Susan Tombrello. "She would plaster herself to the shower door and whimper for me, or she would try to climb up on me just about anywhere I would sit. Cooking was very difficult when she outgrew her baby sling. I somehow learned to do everything with one hand."

• Prepare your child. Visit your child in the presence of the caregiver before placement. Together, talk to the child about the move before it occurs. It may help to act out the forthcoming adoption in play. If a pre-adoption visit isn't possible, send your child an album of family photos or a recording of your voice, so you'll be familiar by your first meeting.
• Help your child identify feelings. Your child's verbal abilities aren't developed enough to express his feelings about the change in his life. Help him label emotions, such as fear, anger, and sadness.
• Record the circumstances. Write down as many details as possible about placement day. Take photos. As your child's verbal skills develop, she will need to rework her emotions about that day. Details will help her understand what happened, why, and what it means.
• Get good advice. Children adopted as toddlers frequently struggle to balance dependence and autonomy. Professional advice can be helpful.

Recap of Our Meetings Last Week

Last week was a wonderfully busy week of meetings.

Wednesday - Met our attorney for the first time. She is great. (Received her LLM at Georgetown in DC!). She said we can file for our first court date on Day 91,which is Jan 30, not Jan 28 like I thought. They actually calculate from 3 months, not 90 actual days. Either way, if our Little Angels' social worker gets her official report in to the court in time, then we will most likely get a mid-Feb court date. At this first court date, the court will acknowledge our GAL appointment. They will also hand our case back over to the Children's Department so they can assign their own social worker to do yet another round of homestudies. When the Children's Department files their report (they have 45 days after their 3+ visits), then we can file for our second court date. At THAT court hearing, the judge can grant the adoption right out but most likely will schedule a third date to make the adoption official.

Thursday - Our Little Angels social worker conducted her second visit here at our home. Clean, clean, clean! She is very nice. I hope the appointment went okay. She seemed again to be a little overwhelmed  by our family of 7 and homeschooling. She asked, "When do you have any time for yourself?" Hee hee. I love that question. Anyway, one more visit and those are done.

Friday - We had our first Guardian ad Litem visit here at our home. This lady is so professional and so beautiful! She has four kids too. I find that makes a huge difference in talking with folks about our family. She was so cute. "Do you know what a Guardian ad Litem does?" Then Kevin explained that we are both lawyers. She will come here for two appointments before our first court date. There will be a total of four visits by the time this is all over.

WooHoo!!

Spoke with our Attorney Today!!

What a great birthday present to me today:

I spoke with our attorney for the first time (which ironically we were appointed the same attorney that I wanted!!) . Our first meeting is this Wednesday. She says she will have everything together in time to file on the 91st day...the first day after our foster period is over.
I spoke with Little Angels. They have appointed us a Guardian Ad Litem and she will meet with us this week as well. Our second social worker visit is this Thursday.

HOOORAAAAY for things moving forward. Ah this is turning into a GREAT YEAR SO FAR!!!

Gotcha Day

Where our baby is!

Trying to figure out which baby is ours.

First Glance at Zac. But they didn't tell us which one was Zac. "Guess which one is your baby," said the social worker.

I held myself together pretty well. Looking back, it felt like a dream. Did this really happen?

Holding him for the first time.

We presented him with his very own blankie and fuzzy puppy.

Nick then proceeded to hand him his pj's from the diaper bag.

We took him outside to have a bit of one-on-one time away from the other toddlers.

He rocked while clutching his new puppy.

And then he fell asleep. While rocking. It was hilarious.

So I picked him up and held him while he slept.

His sleeping gave us time to investigate his hands and toes, just like a new baby. Everyone was in awe.

I just couldn't stop laughing about the fact he fell asleep. My friend said he was at peace :)

We passed him to Rachel. He kept sleeping.

We passed him to Emma. He kept sleeping.

Finally he woke up and we played together.

Sweet Daddy.

The Powers 7!

(I snagged a quick picture of his crib. Our pictures are hanging above it.)

He wore his "little brother" shirt. It was Nick's shirt when he was little. Love it.

Kiddos being very patient while Mommy feeds her baby.

Feeding him at lunchtime.

I held him during his naptime. Took me an hour of rocking and holding him, but he cried whenever I laid him in the crib, and I just couldn't do that. 

More playing after naptime.

At 5pm we fed Zac his dinner, then he joined the other dozen toddlers for potty time. When I put him on his chair, he cried and scooted towards me. So of course I picked him up. Then I bathed him and we dressed him in his pj's. And we left him with his little fuzzy blanket and puppy.

Day #2: Medicals. We picked him up and drove him to our embassy doctor for the second opinion. He was wide-eyed the entire time, watching everything out the window.

Sabrina was very excited about sitting next to her brother as we drove to the doctor.

When we returned him back to the orphanage, surprisingly, they told us we could take him home! We were expecting to come back Saturday morning and get him. Guess not! 

Last photo of the staff and friends in his "class".

All right we are home, let's eat!!  First Cheerios. First time in my new high chair at my new house.

  

Dinner!! More eating! He was not a fan of the carrots I steamed, but loved the potatoes and rice.

Bath time. Bath toys! He loves water. He splashes and laughs. PLUS the orphanage puts him to sleep at 6pm every night, but we partied until at least 8pm!! And that's the end of our Gotcha Day!

Meeting Zac in 15 Hours!

We have everything ready for tomorrow. The camera battery has been charged. Tripod is loaded up. I have packed a bag of clothes and diapers for Zac.  The lady at the orientation today suggested that we bring a little gift for Zac. I found a fuzzy little puppy and a soft fuzzy blanket to give to him tomorrow.  Something of his very own. The lady today said the kids love gifts because they have never had anything of their own before. Of course I cried when she said that. 

Today we found out more about his birth story, which was unexpected. Apparently there was writing on a back page of one of his medical reports but it was not photocopied when his file was sent to us. So it is very nice to have a little more background information about him.

I am so nervous. I am scared he won't like me. I mean,with my birth babies, they love me automatically. They love the sound of my voice, the touch of my skin, my milk! But I am a complete stranger to this little guy.

Our lady today said he has been looking at our photo album and carrying the little album around. To which I replied, "He can walk?". I can just picture him clutching our little album to his chest and looking at all the pictures. Goodness he is only 17 months old, but certainly he can see the pictures even though he doesn't know what a Mommy or Daddy or Sisters and Brothers are. We have a shirt for him to wear tomorrow that says "Little Brother" on the front. It was Nick's shirt when he was little. I just adore the fact that Zac will now get to wear it.

I know we have waited so long for this moment. Dreamed so long about this very moment. But I can't believe it's here already! I can't believe we will meet our son tomorrow!

I told the lady today that I will try not to run up and grab him (because we have read that at first, we should take it really slow and just sit next to him at first and wait until he warms up a bit to us before we try to hold or hug him) but she was appalled at that. She said, "You can run to him! Bombard him! He has been waiting for you! Be excited to see him! Treat him like the son you have been waiting to see!"  And then of course I cried again. I very much look forward to seeing my kids' reactions to Zac. They are so excited about meeting him. Ahhhhhh! Baby, we are almost there!!

Orientation Tomorrow Morning!

We just got the call from our adoption agency. We have our orientation tomorrow morning and then we meet our little guy for the first time Thursday morning. I am beside myself!! I am trying to keep myself under control right now!!!

Documents Sent to the Orphanage!

We found out our adoption agency sent all our materials (application, care package, etc.) to the orphanage yesterday!!  Getting closer...maybe end of next week??

No News (obviously)

I called the orphanage yesterday (October 17) to ask what size diaper Zac is wearing, what he eats, and whether he takes a bottle or sippie cup so I can go ahead and purchase those things since obviously he will be coming home in a couple of days! The adoption coordinator at the orphanage said, "A couple of days?! I don't even have an application for you."  (whatever that is!) Apparently she has never heard of me before. She has nothing. I was under the impression the orphanage has had our case file for a long time now, that all she was waiting for was our photo album that was supposed to have already been sent to them by LAN. Nope. She assured me she would call me immediately when they received our application (there's that word again!) from LAN, but as of now they have zero information about our family or who Zac is matched with.  I have to say I am shocked and mortified about that. Trying to stay peaceful, trying to stay calm, trying not to think about it 24/7.

Ughghghg I hear the enemy whispering in my ear again, "This will never happen. This is not going to happen." Get thee behind me Satan in the name of Jesus. I am trying to stay positive...

There's a whole lot more I want to say about this. A lot. But I don't want to write too much on this public blog. So I am going to do some homeschool/teacher paperwork so I don't have to think about it anymore. What else is there to do but completely forget about the fact that we could have a baby tomorrow, or three weeks from now, or NEVER?!