Journeys

I have been on a lot of journeys throughout my life.

Forgiveness journeys. Spiritual journeys.  Single-mom journey.  Pregnancy journeys.  

And all of them refined my personality to make me more like Jesus.

My current journey - this adoption journey - is teaching me lessons about patience and control that I would probably rather not learn, because it is painful.  Very painful.

God gave me a Word two weeks ago:  Make the most of your time while you have it.

In that time I have really grasped the concept of what it means to be joyful, even in the seemingly mundane things like washing dishes.  Like, real joy.  Happiness.  Peace.  Even when I would rather scream because things won't hurry up and go the way I planned.  Like when I can't figure out this adoption process as quickly as I would like.  Or I can't control how a 3rd party is handling my case.  Like the adoption paperwork - waiting for it to process.  Or thinking of our baby sitting in an institution waiting to be picked up and rocked.  It almost kills to think about it.  So I pray  - - however odd this may sound - - that Jesus's angels would surround our baby.  That they would manifest into a physical form, and would hold our child and rock him to sleep.  That they would smile at him and sing to him and warm him with their arms.  Angels have taken physical form in the Bible.  Why couldn't they do it today and comfort our lonely child?  

God gave me a vision for this baby a while ago.  A vision that will change my entire family, not just me.  We are not going to be the same anymore.  Thank you, Jesus.  You are the ultimate healer.  You are alive today just as much as when you walked this earth 2000 years ago.  I praise you for that!  So change me, Jesus.  Make me more like You.